Fool’s Gold
For my birthday
this April, my parents threw me a party. Watching the
presents pile up as friends arrived, I was ecstatic
when my buddy Stephen handed me an envelope and said
I had to open my gift from him immediately. I tore open
the envelope, found five lottery tickets and started
scratching away with a coin. While tackling my third
ticket, Stephen revealed if I got three of the same
symbols, I’d be set for life. Supposedly the lotto
was offering millions. No luck with tickets one through
four, but things started looked up with ticket five:
I had two jackpot symbols on the ticket, meaning if
I chose right I could win big bucks! A crowd gathered
around me. I decided on a corner square on the lotto
ticket. I scratched frantically and screamed “JACKPOT”
when I saw the third symbol needed. “Happy birthday,”
cheered Stephen, “and April Fool’s!”
Apparently, Stephen got this fifth (fake) ticket from
a novelty store.
—Clay, age 15, Manhattan
Almost Famous
Now that I have my driver’s license, I run
certain errands for my Mom. After a recent mishap, however,
I may have to rethink how I manage my tasks. At the supermarket,
I was putting apples in a plastic bag when I had my first
celebrity sighting. Stammering to get the words out, I
asked a lady— whom I thought was Kristie Alley—
for an autograph. “You’re the woman on the
Jenny Craig commercials, right?” As I inquired,
I held out my grocery list for her to sign. “My
Mom would love an autograph.” Throwing the list
back in my face, “Kristie” said she was just
a regular woman doing her shopping. From her shouting,
I learned that “grown women don’t like being
mistaken for former fatties” (faux Kristie’s
actual words).
—Catherine, age 17, Long Island
Tooting My Horn
Since elementary school, I have played the trombone
with ease. That all changed when I entered jazz band in
middle school. After finally making the band second semester
this year, I eagerly awaited the spring concert. Come
crunch time, I crashed. Literally. During an upbeat song
when the trombones play solos, I stood up for a handful
of notes. My chair leg must’ve slid off of the bleacher
when I got up, and when I sat back down I fell off the
risers. Of course the song ended with my horrible spill.
I’m just hoping that I’m not kicked off the
band.
—Elliot, age 13, Manhattan
Rated X
n a joint family vacation to Upstate New York,
one of the parents in our group took the older teens and
college kids to a local bar. The bar allows anyone age
18 and older to get admitted. And the bouncer gives people
not yet at the drinking age an X on their hands so the
bartender knows whom not to serve. My older sister told
me to go to the bathroom and wash off the X. As I’m
standing by the bar, no drink in hand, the bouncer points
to a girl in front of me. She must have also washed off
her X, and got caught trying to buy a drink. The girl
jets, leaving me to deal with the bouncer’s wrath—
followed by my parents’ punishment the next day.
—Jason, age 18, Long Island
Toilet Troubles
In side-by-side stalls of a bathroom at school,
my friend and I gabbed about our cute history teacher
and how some of the women teachers totally flirt with
him. I blurted out that I’ve seen my sculpting teacher
make passes at the hottie teacher. I then flushed the
toilet and went to wash my hands. Who was standing at
the sink? My sculpting teacher, scrubbing clay off her
arms while giving me the evil eye as I approached her.
Yikes. Maybe I should sculpt her an apology present.
—Tabitha, age 14, Queens
What utterly humiliating experience happened
to you recently? Reveal your confessions by e-mailing
jenna@tweens andteensNEWS.com.
