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PARENTGUIDE
PARENTGUIDE

And the Winner Is…
How you can strengthen your personality and become a well-liked person.
by Diane M. Yelencsics

TWEENS & TEENS News April 2007

“Please let it be me! Just say my name, and I promise I’ll act surprised. I’ve never won anything in my life. I really want this.”

Deep down, all people envision themselves as frontrunners someday. They wait expectantly for the moment when they’ll steal the show and bask in the glory.

How badly have you wanted recognition? Have you ever imagined being the athlete on the field who scores the winning goal or the student who finishes in first place in a spelling bee? Have you envisioned yourself being the most popular kid in your school?
Being judged superior makes you feel good. When you feel good about yourself, your confidence is enhanced and you start to believe you’re invincible. Regardless, even if a person feels ordinary rather than extraordinary, a person must maintain his or her self-esteem. Otherwise, that person risks suffering from a crushed ego.

When you do take first place in something, say a school spelling bee or a state track competition, be careful not to feel overwhelmed by all the attention. Fame is often short lived. In time, someone will come along and strip you of your title, and the limelight will be a distant memory. Let’s just hope you take many pictures to document your glory days!

Why do people subject themselves to the scrutiny and judgment of others? Do they yearn to be remembered for their appearance, intelligence or wealth? Probably not. Take charge of your self-esteem and personality, rather than allow the opinions of others to determine your fate. Come out from under the microscope of your peers. Don’t put your well-being in the hands of others or enable anyone else to judge or label you. Become your own jury— and grant yourself a life sentence to be a person with a high self-esteem and an empowering self-image.

One surefire way of increasing your self-worth is to always put your best foot forward and make a good impression. Handling yourself in an upstanding way helps to set you apart from your peers. Simply raise the bar and strive to become a thoughtful and considerate human being in all of your endeavors. Choose to be a nicer person, and others will want to be around you. They’ll also consider you worthy of recognition for your personality, rather than your looks or some other superficial quality.

When it’s not all about you and you’ve become genuinely concerned with the welfare of others, your entire character strengthens. If you’re a kind person, you become very likeable. When someone likes you, you like yourself even more. The more you like yourself, the more significant you’ll feel. Your self-worth will flourish and you’ll sense how thoughtfulness has improved your moral fiber.

Start planting the seeds of decency in your personality. If you make a conscientious effort to practice the following ten suggestions, you’ll eventually transform yourself into a good-natured person.

Ten Steps to Attaining Star Quality
1. A smile is powerful. When you smile, you become approachable and appear to be a friendly person. Smile as often as possible.

2. When you remember a person’s name, you give that person the feeling of importance. Everyone likes to be called by his or her name.

3. Be a good listener. Ask questions while engaging in a conversation. You’ll make the other person feel that you’re truly interested in what he or she has to say.

4. People like to feel as if they positively impact someone’s life. Let people know they are important to you.

5. Be appreciative. If someone gives you time or consideration, let that person know you value him or her.

6. Everyone possesses personal opinions. Respect another person’s point of view and be willing to be flexible in your own way of thinking. Don’t think you’re always right.

7. Allow all people— friends, classmates and family members— to maintain their self-worth at all times. Don’t judge a person solely on one incident. Critical, superficial judgments strip people of their dignity.

8. Always try to avoid arguing with someone. There is never a winner in a harsh or unfounded argument, only hurt feelings.

9. Trying to cover up or deny what you’ve done wrong makes matters worse. The sooner you admit to your mistake, the faster you can be forgiven.

10. Never be critical of people. You’ll convey the attitude that you think you are superior. Who are you to judge someone else?

How hard can it be to incorporate these commandments in your persona? Lead by example and be the kind of person who others want to emulate. Give yourself an upstanding reputation and be someone who truly shines!

Diane Yelencsics was an art teacher for 20 years and saw the masterpiece within each one of her students. Now she’s the author of the first children’s “how-to” book on character building, Being a Better Me (BookSurge Publishing).




 
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