Managing Instant
Messaging
The new bane of parents with children 8-18
years old.
by Dr. Robert Price, Ed.D.
PARENTGUIDE News April 2005
Your child spends hours at the computer,
yet homework assignments, purportedly researched
on the Internet, don’t get completed.
Family distance increases. Chances are your
8-18 year old is instant messaging and not
every so often, but three-four hours daily.
Technology has dramatically changed the way
youngsters do school work, interact, play
and communicate. We have become a culture
of hyper-accessible people who are constantly
plugged in to computers, cell phones and pagers.
Unfortunately, the normal growing pains children
experience in adolescence become intensified
with increased technology, and parents are
often at a loss when it comes to strengthening
relationships when they are so easily shut
out by cell phones, video games, texting and
now, instant messaging.
Instant messaging (IM) is the latest fad in
Internet real-time communication, allowing
users to see line-by-line text immediately,
making it more like a telephone conversation
than e-mail. A recent poll of teenagers conducted
by Jupiter Research reported that approximately
70 percent said instant messaging was their
favorite online activity. A poll taken by
Pew Internet and American Life Project (2001)
stated that close to 17 million teens use
instant messaging each day, making it their
most popular form of communication. This same
report ranks instant messaging the “#1
distraction for youngsters” by parents
aware of their children’s excessive
use of IM. The Pew study also reported that
two-thirds of online teens said they think
use of the Internet takes away from the time
young people spend with their families, with
a greater number of online teens using IM
at least several times a week. The same study
reported that 61 percent of parents say they
have rules about Internet use, while only
37 percent of teens themselves reported being
subject to any Internet time-use restriction.
A big concern is that many parents and educators
don’t realize how much time children
spend instant messaging when they appear to
be using the computer for homework. IM is
getting more sophisticated and integrated
into our daily communications. Unlike cell
phones, another layer of separation exists
that further distances the participants from
personal contact. IM allows a consistent flow
of ‘chat’ talk throughout ever
expanding ‘buddy’ groups. With
that, we see cyber-bullying of kids and an
erosion of language, as children speak in
the shorthand, abbreviated lexicon common
to IM. The excessive use of IM is far reaching
in our culture and as adults we must understand
the consequences of new technologies as they
impact our lives.
While IM is here to stay, I recommend parents
work to manage its use with a software program
like I.M. Control!™ (www.imcontrol.net),
made by QualityTime Solutions, that focuses
exclusively on controlling instant messaging
use at the home level, allowing parents to
set limits for the time children spend instant
messaging. This program gives parents the
ability to manage IM, while at the same time,
it helps their children set limits as they
learn to schedule their busy lives. The program
is easy to install and update, allowing parents
to increase, decrease, change times of IM
use or completely eliminate IM use altogether
for each individual in the family. If kids
are compliant and family time, along with
school performance, improves, perhaps an additional
30 minutes of IM time can be offered.
Even though they’d like us to believe
the contrary, children of all ages truly need,
and often respond positively to, limit setting.
When healthy limits are set, especially with
technology, everybody benefits. Staying in
touch with what your children are really doing
at the computer will give you an invaluable
understanding of how technology is being used
and will ensure that everyone’s time
is well spent.
Robert Price, Ed.D., has 17 years experience
in education and computer technology. Dr.
Price began his career at Hudson Catholic
High School in Jersey City, NJ as a 9th grade
general science teacher and presently is technology
coordinator at Haworth Public School system
in Haworth, NJ. He provides students with
direction in various technology applications
and philosophies. Dr. Price received his Doctorate
in Education from Columbia University and
his Masters of Education from Rutgers University.
Once parents recognize that their child is
using and abusing instant messaging (IM),
what can they do? Parents can take a step
toward controlling their children’s
IM use. Simple to install and use, I.M. Control!
™, IM management software from QualityTime
Solutions, is the first software program that
allows parents to customize instant message
schedules for every member of the family.
Parents can schedule the times of day, days
of week and amount of time their children
can IM.
·Custom scheduling of IM use for individual
family members.
·Compatible with the most popular instant
messaging software.
·No interference with regular Web site
access or e-mail use.
·Personal schedule printout.
·Option to fully block “Instant
Messenger.”
·Straightforward installation and uses.
I.M. Control! is available by calling (908)
654-0400 or by visiting www.imcontrol.net.
